North Australian FISH FINDER forums

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and started talking with the
workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them
gems-in-the-rough, more or less... adopted her as a kind of project
mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had
coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there
to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they presented her with a pay envelope
containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who
said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they
take the dollar she had received to the bank the next day to start a
savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a construction crew building a house."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the
house again this week, too?

The little girl replied... "I will if those useless c**ts at Bunnings ever bring us the f*cking gyprock."

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Corkers the archangel found him on the seventh day resting.

He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Corkers, look what I've
made," said God.

Archangel Corkers looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"Its a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Corkers, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For
example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot.

Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people." God continued, pointing to the different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of
land and asked, "What's that?"

"Ah", said God. "That's called Queensland , the most glorious place on
Earth.

There are beautiful people, impressive towns; it is the home of the worlds
finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers and explorers.

The people from QLD are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and
they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known
throughout the world as speakers of truth."

Corkers gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the idiots I'm putting down
there in England"