North Australian FISH FINDER TM forums

A Scottish man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a
pool with his hand.

The Scottish man shouts "Awa ye go ya big eijit, can yeh no tell that's
foo o coos shite"
(Translated: Don't drink the water, it's full of cow poop. )

The man shouts back "Excuse me, I'm English, Speak English, if you don't
mind, I don't understand you"

The Scottish man shouts back "Use both hands, you'll get more in."