North Australian FISH FINDER TM forums

Some of my family wanted some more details on why I was in such a bad mood the week after Easter, so having typed this for them I thought I'd throw it up here. Nothing overly exciting, just a trip where little seemed to go our way, and probably some greater forward planning might have helped. A bit long-winded, but have a go if you're really bored.
Events are in chronological order:

Wednesday 27th March

• Take annual leave day to pack
• Get excited for planned trip to Gregory National Park / Victoria River District, starting tomorrow.
• Go to various outdoor, fishing and hardware stores for supplies
• Go to Woolworths for groceries
• Go to Thirsty Camel and blow budget
• Put music on, pack car

Thursday 28th March

• Take second annual leave day, other half takes first annual leave day
• Leave Darwin at 7am
• Journey uneventful, arrive Vic River Roadhouse around 12
• Have a beer
• Leave Vic River Roadhouse and meander towards Timber creek
• Turn south off hwy about 10kms from timber creek, onto Buntine Highway
• Wonder why the Buntine Highway is not called the Buntine 4wd Track
• Reach the Tuwakam 4wd track turnoff
• Sign says “seasonal closure”. Apparently 1983 – 2013 constitutes a “season”
• Decide to continue on to a place called “Jasper Gorge”, with icons of camping, fishing and photography next to it on the map
• Reach Jasper Gorge (55kms from hwy)
• Wander around
• Notice that it’s started raining (take note of the time – 4pm Thursday).
• Ponder whether to set up camp at the risk of getting rained in
• Decide to cook some dinner
• Cook dinner
• Eat dinner
• Decide not to risk rain in and head back to the hwy
• Travel 50kms in 2.5 hrs – now 9pm and 5kms from the Victoria Hwy
• Notice vehicle not behaving
• Check rear passenger tire – flat
• Change tyre
• Get wet and muddy
• Get to the hwy, and decide that accommodation at Timber Creek is wise at 10pm (and still raining)
• Have discussion with attendant, end up with a key in hand
• Go to bed, but not to sleep
• Have 4 beers
• Go to sleep

Friday 29th March (still raining)

• Wake up at 6:30am
• Have shower in rain outside
• Pack up car – notice that car fridge no longer working, and diagnose issue as faulty adapter lead into all-weather plug in ute tray. Run lead through car window and plug fridge into cigarette lighter
• Notice fridge is now working
• Put down wheel wrench that was being held in preparation to punish something nearby, probably a tree who’s fault it almost certainly would have been if the fridge stopped working
• Check road reports, everything now closed
• Decide to head back to Katherine and make decision on remainder of long weekend
• Drive 100km and notice, at 130km/h, vibration through steering wheel
• Stop and inspect car (still raining)
• Inspect wheel studs from previous nights changeover
• Find they’re not overly tight
• Tighten
• Break studs (x2)
• Calmly walk behind bush, out of earshot, and commence swearing fit at whoever overtightend wheel nuts (decide that it was probably me)
• Calmly walk out from behind bush, tentatively tighten remaining nuts, head back to Katherine
• Travel at 95km/h
• Reach Katherine and insert fuel
• Pay, walk to car, get in, turn key
• (nothing)
• Turn key again
• (nothing)
• Swear
• Take 20mins to work out that car won’t start with anything plugged into cigarette lighter
• Remove fridge lead from cigarette lighter, start car and replace fridge lead into cigarette lighter. Smile.
• Have lunch, and a beer
• Head back to Darwin at 95km/h
• 2:00pm – My travelling partner offers to drive, so we swap
• 2:18pm – My travelling partner is too tired to drive, so we swap
• Arrive in Darwin
• Have 6 beers
• Go to sleep (still raining)

Saturday 30th March (not raining)

• Wake up, decide that weekend’s not done yet, look at weather forecast (Saturday, Sunday and Monday “clearing”) and decide to “have another crack”
• Commence work on removing studs from vehicle to seek spares
• Have discussions with brake drum
• Attempt to resolve discussions with use of claw hammer
• Resolve discussions abruptly with use of sledge hammer
• Remove studs
• Travel to vehicle Dealer, find out that they're not open
• Travel to (unnamed vehicle parts supplier), have discussion with staff member for half an hour
• Decide that, despite his buoyant advice that “these look pretty similar, are the same colour, and should do the job”, the whel studs for a Kio Rio would in fact not “do the job”, and travel to (unnamed vehicle parts supplier #2)
• Have discussion, to find they do not have said studs in stock and that I would have to wait until Tuesday
• Go home
• Decide to head to Cooinda in wife's X-trail, with boat in tow.
• Transfer gear, pack boat and hit the road.
• Arrive at Cooinda at 4pm
• Pay small fortune for campsite
• Set up camp
• Notice that it has started to rain
• Cook dinner
• Eat dinner
• Decide that “it can’t be that bad”, and drink four bottles of wine
• Decide to go to bed thinking (as long as the tent’s dry, it’ll be fine)
• Go to bed
• Notice small billabong in floor of tent
• Swear
• Attempt to sleep in new invention – “reverse waterbed”
• Go to sleep (intermittently)

Sunday 31st March (not raining, but hear on radio that “Jabiru district has had 1,246mm rain overnight”, probably)

• Decide to go fishing
• Pack boat, go fishing
• Have uneventful day (not one single f*$#@*g fish)
• Come in at 3pm
• Retrieve boat
• Head back to camp
• Notice that edge of billabong is now only 50m from campsite (due to rain)
• Decide that no crocodile would be silly enough to interfere with me in the sort of mood I was in, and that we would be fine
• Get told by campground manager to shift camp, because there’s a crocodile “just over there”
• Decide to pack up camp and shift it – back to Darwin
• Leave Cooinda at approximately 5:30pm
• Travel to Jabiru and refuel
• Travel to South Alligator and keep going
• Respond to query from passenger seat with “there’s no chance any of those rivers or creeks along the Arnhem Highway have risen enough to halt traffic”
• Travel another 50kms and notice large amount of traffic halted due to river or creek having risen (the Wildman river in this case)
• Calmly pull over, get out of vehicle, find nearest tree, swear and kick tree
• Break foot (probably)
• Check and make note of water height, and get back in vehicle
• Pontificate for an hour, then decide to head back to South Alligator for some dinner
• Have dinner
• Decide that the “long way round” via Pine Creek was not worth considering, and that we’d “wait it out”
• Travel back to the Wildman to “wait it out”
• Make cup of tea
• happily make cup of tea for Sydney tourist from unnamed tour company, who came over and asked for a cup of tea
• Politely suggest to Sydney Tourist that it may be in her best interest to retreat back towards the vehicle from which she came from after she kicks over my gas lantern
• Decline to make any more cups of tea for tourists from unnamed tour company
• Get in car, commence reading book
• Read, doze, read, doze
• Wake up at midnight to sound of commodore pulling up to waters edge
• Proceed to watch two lads (early 20’s) alight from commodore, enter water, and walk from the waters edge to the (underwater) bridge, approx. 300m away
• Get ambulance and crocodile rescue team on speed dial just in case
• Watch as they come back
• Somehow get talked into attempting vehicle crossing by aforementioned lads
• Offer aforementioned lads a lift to Darwin in return for sitting on the boat and guiding X-trail through crossing
• Undertake crossing
• Complete crossing, alight from vehicle, grab toilet paper and walk into the bush to tidy things up a bit
• Get back in vehicle and complete travel to Darwin
• Arrive Darwin at 3pm, drop passengers in Mitchell Street
• Go home, sleep

Monday 1st April

• Wake up
• Have breakfast
• Unpack and clean
• Go to shift disabled ute (with broken studs)
• Do not manage to start
• Decide that ute is cursed
• Decide to have a few weekends without camping

The end

Thats awesome .....sorry needed a good laugh.poop like that you gotta laugh maybe not at that moment but later you do,and you have your health still..

Thanks mate, great read
Needed a smile, as we're about to get flooded again

Good read man. Cheers!

Oh no Cunno that's awful. You poor Buggers. Well done keeping your chin up. I'd have lost it day 2. Well done the Mrs coping with all that too.

Step 1
use new invention called internet to check weather conditions.
step 2
realise that the forcast of 40 days rain will probably come true.
step 3
Visit local supermarket and bottle shop
Step 4
sit at home and consume items obtained in step 3

Haha!

"Keep your head down and your powder dry"

Love yr work Cunno!

Thx for venting.

Good read thanks.

haha good read. Have had a fewof those trips but not anywhere near to that extent.

we were at the south culvert sunday night and crossed the wildman around 9:30. Were you the one with the hire boat?

Thankyou Cunno

I feel better already

Oh dear

Brilliant work Cunno, love your commitment.

No good mate

Oh dear ..... That's all

one the best post iv read in ages , funny sh.t. Good karma coming your way soon