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Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:51 pm
by Dick
Dear Chloe

The mean doctors cut out one of my nuts about five weeks ago, Cancer apparently the biopsy said (google seminoma)! Just got a treatment of chemo today, should only need the one initially (95% success rate apparently) and if follow up monitoring shows all clear that’ll be all I need.

I have questions -
will the boys in the footy team laugh at me when I bend over in the shower?
Can I smuggle contraband into the county in the new space (should be good for a couple of kgs at least)?
Can I now bet my left nut with impunity?
Do you have a spare?
Will you volunteer to give personalised inspections of all FFF Brotherhood members as a community service? Cos guys never check their nuts unless they want a scratch.

PS don’t tell anyone :kiss: .

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 11:38 pm
by Chloe
Oh dear, perhaps we should call you Dick-less from now on?

To answer your boring questions

1. Yes they will, take a tissue in with you if you feel it's necessary.

2. A couple of kilos? You mean milligrams surely?

3. Bet the one that's still there.

4. Yes but I'm saving them for antfish since he has still to grow a couple

5. This all comes back to sex, why is that? but yes but only on a fee for service basis. You get half price.

6. Your secret is safe with me............not!

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:08 am
by Dick
Thanks for that Chloe. As a nurse you'd make a wonderful undertaker.

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:30 am
by jeffish
The boat might lean a bit to one side now Dick :naughty:

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 2:42 am
by Dick
Nah the right one now is the middle one :moon:

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 8:20 am
by Chloe
Harden up Dick....or is that beyond you now?

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 8:41 am
by nomad
My old man had prostate cancer and the docs cut his balls off (for some reason).
he used to joke and say that he had the biggest weight loss overnight - 'lost 2 stones'

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:38 am
by Matt Flynn
Sorry to hear about the cruel cut but it's far better than the alternative. Ask the doctor for a prosthetic that flavours things up a bit (banana/Jack Daniels/vanilla??), nice surprise for the wife/girlfriend/mistress (I was going to say deckie but people might get the wrong idea).

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 1:36 pm
by nomad
No probs. he was in the final stages of cancer and that was the treatment at the time!

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 2:39 pm
by Matt Flynn
I was referring to Dick's ball :? not your dad, nomad. Losing both balls is no joking matter ...

Sorry to hear about your father. My dad's now in the final stage of prostate cancer, he has had no surgery, just radiation and hormone treatment, he's been comfortable through most of it thankfully.

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 5:48 pm
by Dick
Happy to lose the nut and take the cancer with it. The chemo yesterday was just to pick up any cells that may have had moved into the body. Blood test showed clean but there's a 30% chance it'll grow again in your body from these vagrants unless you undergo the treatment. If it does get away you get the full blown chemo treatment to nuke it.

I was lucky to get it early. I could have got it earlier if I looked checked regularly. Problem is guys are just not all that good at going that. Hence the point of this thread. Feel ya nuts fellas!!!

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:35 pm
by Matt Flynn
I bet knob cancer gets picked up early in 99% of cases :D

I believe nut cancer has excellent prospects of recovery Dick, so you will probably be around a while yet. Sorry to hear you had to go through the knife, always a daunting prospect.

Wondered why there'd been no Ord meteries posted by you this run-off, I know you would have one in the bag by now.

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:06 pm
by Ben Jam
All the best dick.

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:13 pm
by uniball
Join the club dick, only real men have one nut, hence the uniball alias :)

Matt, I hope you intended the 'one in the bag' pun! Haha

Re: Ooops lost that nut

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:15 pm
by ponyplay
glad you got it early :mrgreen: