Life

Make us laugh or cry out loud with your wicked wit.
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ronje
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Life

Post by ronje »

After being married for 60 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Sixty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa-bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV.

But, hey, I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now, I have a $950,000 home, a $55,000 car, a nice big bed, and a large screen color TV, but I'm sleeping with an 83-year-old woman.”

“So,” I said to my wife, "it seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV!


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Ronje
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theodosius
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Re: Life

Post by theodosius »

Why do the french like eating snails?
Because they hate fast food
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Matt Flynn
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Re: Life

Post by Matt Flynn »

Bloke found a snail on his verandah near the door mat, so he picked it up and hurled it as far as he could.

Two weeks later he heard a little knock on the door.

He opened the door and looked down and it was the snail, which said: "What the Hell was that all about?!"
ronje
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Re: Life

Post by ronje »

Was talking to missus the other day about her figure.

"Geez. You've got a bum the size of a heavy duty washing machine".

She didn't say anything. A bit later on I sugessted that she might feel inclined for us to get a bit frisky.

She said "As you know I'm a bit of an energy conservationist and energy savings within the household are very important" .

" You know that household energy savings are very important to me and I just can't see the value in switching on a heavy duty washing machine unnecessarily. Especially for such a small load like your's".

I think you'd be better off doing it by hand".
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Ronje
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