‎50 Shades of Dubbo

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‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by back-cast »

‎50 Shades of Dubbo,

Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned him to fill the lonely hours between dr phill and Jerry Springer. as he approached me with his pasty white arms hanging out of a Nike vest,his smile told me it was dole day, and I knew my velour FUBU track suit would be hanging off the lampshade tonight. As I stood in line at the job center, thinking up …reasons why I can’t work, a sweet smell drifted past my nose stud and into my nostrils. It was a mixture of Yarndi, sweat and lynx Africa! I turned and there he was, Dwayne, with his pants halfway down his arse,our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Bi-Lo. He had already tied his staffy to a post in an alleyway so we would not be disturbed. As he took a franga from his bum bag i grabed it and threw it away, there was no need for it, i was already pregnant to Eric. I knew then that this was love and my life would never be the same again. I made a promise to him there and then that I would buy him a plasma with the baby bonus. Now, two weeks later i realize that Dwayne and I are first cousins. But ya cant help love.


50 SHADES OF DUBBO- CHAPTER 2 "THE TROLLEY BOY"

It was a brisk winters morning as I sat in the tarago in the car park of Orana Mall. My children Shontain, Jermain, brontain and paul had gone with Dwayne into the tobaconist to get some darts. I couldn't help but notice the trolley boy in front of the car. Legs like two twiggy sticks leaping out from under those melbourne storm footy shorts, taned veiny arms protruding from that fluro yellow vest. long browh hair streaking from under that lovely Ford hat. I felt hair on my legs stand up and i became slightly aroused. Who was this magnificent example of a trolley manouvering officer? was he single, did he own a torana? would he forfill my needs as a young adventurous woman? All these questions wondered inside my mind like a lost kelpie in Gordon Estate. I couldn't help myself, I jumped from my seat and approached him. I said, "Hi, i was watching you from my tarago, are you single". After a long hot conversation with "Denis" he took me to a nearby toilet block. I remembered picking up bumpers with dad here when i was younger. Denis and I made love for minutes before he walked me back to my tarago. I told "Denis" that i would love to meet with him again, but next time he would have to pay me full price, or i would be taking out an AVO.


50 SHADES OF DUBBO- CHAPTER 3, "THE ZOO TRIP"

Dwayne and I had been together now for a month. Dwayne decided not to go to the greyhounds today, instead he decided to take us on a family trip to the Dubbo Zoo. Shontain, Jermain, brontain and Paul were so excited. We piled into the tarago and left Braun Avenue heading to the Zoo. I looked at Dwayne as he danced around in his seat to the KEISHA tape that Paul had won at youth group and I became slightly eroused. I couldn't help but be attracted to Dwayne in his Nike thongs, Denim shorts, purple DADA singlt with his chicargo bulls hat and parramatta eels bumb bag around his waist. We got to the zoo and the kids ran off to look at the monkeys. Dwayne and I wandered to the tiger exhibit where he purchased a shirt with a tiger on it. That was it, i couldn't take it any more. I had to have him right there and then. I grabed Dwayne by the hand and took him to the Marsupial cave where i showed him my pouch. Dwayne and I made love on the fence to the bilby enclosure. It was the most exhilerating minute twenty six of my life. After, Dwayne pulled a fresh packet of white ox and a tenna from his bum bag and rolled us both a dart, he was such a gentleman. I heard a phone ring, Dwayne rummaged through his bumb bag to find whcih of his 4 phones was ringing. Dwayne answered and hung up afer a short time. I asked Dwayne who it was and he told me it was his brother who was a trolley boy at Orana Mall. My heart sank, i began to tremble, could this be my toy boy trolley boy from last week who rooted me in the dunny? I said to Dwayne, "Can I ask you something"? He said, "Yeah wha?" I said, "Where the f..uck are me kids"?


50 SHADES OF DUBBO- CHAPTER 4, DWAYNE GETS HIS L'S

Well, it was finaly friday. Both Dwayne and my dole money had gone in so we decided it was time for Dwayne to get his L's as he had been driving without a licence for 23 years. I got the kids into the back of the tarago and gave them a packet of BBQ chips for lunch. Off we went to the RTA. As we made our way down the street we passed a shopping trolley in the gutter near Lunar park. I found myself wondering about Denis the trolley boy and the strange love triangle i now found myself in. Before i could think much further a fight broke out between shontain and paul over a TAZO from one of the packets of BBQ chips. I turned around and king hit paul, quickly defusing the argument. I told Shontain that if she didnt shut her mick she was barred from the attari for a week. Somehow the threat of no frogga on the attari always calms the argument. Dwayne parked the tarago near the RTA and went inside, i kissed him on the cheek before he left for good luck. Whilst sitting in the tarago i saw an old torana coming down the road and it didnt take me long to realize it was Denis, he did own a Torana! As our eyes met i felt the hair on my legs stand up and that familiar tingle was creeping around in my best and less G string like a kilo of rocket balm. I jumped from the tarago and entered the passenger seat of the toarana. Denis quickly drove off. As we drove off i glanced back and noticed a 33 inch pioneer sub woofer on the back seat, this man had taste. It wasn't long before Denis and I were down under the LH FORD bridge. Denis made love to me on the sub woofer. I hadn't felt this much excitment since A current affair and Chrisco were giving away christmas hampers at Apex oval. After several minutes Denis dropped me back to the tarago. Luckily i had locked the kids in the car and put the windows up to prevent them escaping. Dwayne came out of the RTA and hugged me, "I did it" he screamed. "You got your L's babe"!!!! "No" said Dwayne, "I theived that old ladies purse out of her handbag whilst i was waiting, can ya drop me off at the TAB".


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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by Kp NT »

Wow what read but worth it :mrgreen: , I was R.O.F.L.M.F.A.O :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by Till »

I swear i played dwayne in league. He definately sounds like he plays for cyms
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‎50 Shades of Dubbo

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Classic
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by MattyA »

You could pretty much insert either MOULDEN, ALAWA, KARAMA or MALAK in where it says Dubbo and it would fit....

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‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by Est_1982 »

I was born in Dubbo, starting to wonder now if I was conceived on a bin...if I could narrow down my father I would ask him...;)
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by MattyA »

Est_1982 wrote:I was born in Dubbo, starting to wonder now if I was conceived on a bin...if I could narrow down my father I would ask him...;)
That explains a lot mate! :fu:
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

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‎50 SHADES OF DUBBO CHAPTER 5. "the sleep over"

It was a sunny Tuesday morning in east Dubbo. Dwayne was bail refused till Friday aftet He got caught with a Fiddy bag leaving tommo's house. The kids had gone to stay with their uncle in Baradine for the week and I was all alone. I couldn't drive the tarago as I had run over an old pram in the front yard on Sunday and couldn't afford to get it fixed until dole day. I walked down to Orana mall and looked for some butts near the toilets. I bent down to pick up half a winnie blue, I was in luck. It was then that I felt a hand on my buttocks, slowly squeezing
and shaking my left cheek gently. I then heard a familiar voice utter the Magic words "gisa tear there" it was Denis. I turned around and our eyes met. I immediately wanted him inside me and had to have him. I told Denis that I was home alone tonight and he agreed to come up and watch repeats of the bandit on Australia's got Talent. I went home and cleaned up the house. I got my alf doona out of the cupboard and put it on the lounge. The house smelt like pot so I searched for something to freshen the air. All I Could find was an old can of fem fresh in the kitchen draw so I sprayed it around the house. At 7 Denis knocked on the door, he had parked his Torana in behind the vacant house next door. Denis was wearing a long sleeve ford shirt, jeans and big yellow boots. His hair was hidden under a Sydney roosters beni. I felt the hair on my legs stand up and my left nipple moved. My ex boyfriend Caleb had hit me in the right nipple with a spoon during a fight up in alcheringa street and i had lost all feeling in it. Denis didn't even get in the door before he was tearing my penrith panthers shirt off and pumping me like a new basketball on Christmas day. I hadn't been so horny since janel and I went to manpower at the RSL club for me 40th. After two minutes Denis and I collapsed on the floor. As we lay there amongst the playstation games and empty twist tops I realized something .......I had crushed the half a Winnie blue in me pocket. bl..dy hell.

THE SAGA CONTINUES NAUGHTY>> STAY TUNED FOR MORE.....
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by daleywaters »

F@ckin classic! I think I've rooted this chick! Twice....
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

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‎50 SHADES OF DUBBO- chapter 6. "the show"

Well it was Friday night. Dwayne had been sentenced to 6 months in wello for drug possession thismorning. Part of me was upset but the other part was excited as I was starting a new job tonight. I was working at the Dubbo show selling tickets for the ferris wheel. I was short on cash as I had wormed the kids on Tuesday. I got dressed into my jeans and knee high ugboots. I put on my big thick FUBU jacket and my leather bum bag. After several hours selling tickets I smelt a familiar smell, like yarndi, WD40 and linx Africa. It was Denis. Denis walked up to me and stood close. He handed me a can of LA ice cola. He was so thoughtful, that poop was expensive. As I looked at Denis standing there I noticed that big heavy chain leading from his belt near his big holden belt buckle into his pocket and attached to his wallet. The hair on my legs stood up and I became as horny as the old bloke off hey dad. I had to have him inside me. Denis and I ran to the back of a caravan in the dark where he lifted me onto bail of hay and got a good canter up. After Denis told me that I was by far the best ride at the show and he liked my smurfs undies. I called him poppa smurf and we laughed. As I walked back to the ferris wheel I was confronted by a police officer. He looked pretty solid in his shirt and cargo pants. He had his shirts taken in at a tailor to make them more revealing. He looked good but I could tell he was fridget. He told me that his name was senior constable FIDDY and that he had some terrible news. He told me that Dwayne had been killed in jail after slipping on the soap in the shower. My heart stopped and i fell to my knees. I slowly moved my hands down to my hips and I grabbed my stomach. I couldn't believe it. I had lost me bl..dy bum bag.
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

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50 SHADES OF DUBBO- CHAPTER 5. "Eric"


‎50 SHADES OF DUBBO- CHAPTER 5. "Eric"

It was a cold and frosty morning in Macquarie Street as i waited outside the Westpack ATM for me dole money. Things with Denis had cooled down since he broke his arm during a fight with caleb after the See Eagles beat the rabbits. As i stood there scraping up the white ox flakes at the bottom of me packet, i heard a familia voice. It was Eric, the father of my child. Eric and I had made love on the greyhound bus comin back from Orange after Shontain swallowed a centerpeede. I was now 43 weeks pregnant and was starting to show. Eric looked amazing in his blue and black flanno and grey trackies from lowes. Eric walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I felt the hair on my legs stand up and i immediately became attracted to Eric again. He asked me if i wanted to come to sydney to see aunty Rob in Merino Drive, i told him i couldn't as it was chicken night at Bingo down the rissole. As Eric spoke to me his words drifted into my ears and tickled my heart like them dolfin vibrators from Passions. I had to have Eric straight away. I grabbed him and we ran behind the village hot bake where Eric and i made sourdough. Eric made love to me for well over two minutes, i hadnt felt such passion since me and Janel watched encino man and imagined we were making love to Brendan Fraser, instead of the Shillingsworth twins from next door. After, Eric and I walked hand in hand back to the ATM. The sun was just starting to rise and Eric turned to me, and got down on one knee. I screamed and jumpmed around clapping my hands. "Yes", "Yes" Eric I will, i do"!!!!! I screamed aloud. Eric looked up at me and with the voice of 1000 angles said the words i was yearning to hear, "someone dropped a whole winnie red bra, go ya halves"?
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by Dick »

Starting to get sucked in to this :shock: :D
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by nikoniko »

more more
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by Matt Flynn »

I noticed that some people on Twitter had linked to this old thread, people are asking who wrote it (I don't know), too funny ...
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Re: ‎50 Shades of Dubbo

Post by NinjaFish »

Sounds like the writer for ‘Housos’ on SBS.
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