Bus stop

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ronje
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Bus stop

Post by ronje » Mon Mar 16, 2020 1:57 pm

Pretty rough sort of guy gets on a bus and spots a nun in a back seat.

He sidles up to her and asks if he can make wild and passionate love.

She rejects him and immediately gets off the bus.

Not to be dissuaded by rejection he starts talking to the bus driver about the nun.

Having heard the proposition earlier the bus driver consoles him by saying that she was probably saving herself for god.

Bus driver says that the nun goes down to the church late at night and why doesn't the amorous guy dress up as god and meet her at the church.

Amorous guy thinks that's a good idea, dresses up as god and waits at the church that night.

Sure enough, along she comes and the guy leaps out claiming to be god and wants to make love.

She obliges except that the condition is that he (god) must make love from the back.

Amorous guy obliges and when finished, laughs loudly and whips off his god disguise and says "Gotcha. I'm the guy from the bus".

With that the nun laughs even louder and whips off her disguise to reaveal.............the busdriver.


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Re: Bus stop

Post by ronje » Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:53 am

Was a bit reluctant about this one as I thought that maybe it might be a bit too irreverent. In the end I put it up to take the serious edge about what's happening in our communities at the moment.

My apologies to anybody offended as that wasn't my intention.
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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:19 am

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man’s supper and began whining and jumping up at him. “Do you mind if I throw him a bit?” said the man to the lady. “Not at all,” she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.
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ronje
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Re: Bus stop

Post by ronje » Wed Mar 18, 2020 5:27 am

Hope the guy didn't make a habit of it.
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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Wed Mar 18, 2020 2:00 pm

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.
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Re: Bus stop

Post by NinjaFish » Wed Mar 18, 2020 4:21 pm

:rofl: :clap:

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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:34 am

A passenger taps a taxi drivers on his shoulder. The driver s...ts himself with shock, swerves nearly hitting a bus and stops inches from a shop window.

"F#@K-ME, your jumpy aren't yer, I only tapped your shoulder" says the passenger.

"Sorry," says the cabby, "It's my first day. I've been driving a Hearse for 20 years."
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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Thu Mar 19, 2020 11:34 am

Ronje started it....not me
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Re: Bus stop

Post by ronje » Fri Mar 20, 2020 5:46 am

Swoffa

I have to acknowledge your contribution about the girl on the bus. So much laughter in so few words (quite Churchillian).

I must confess to spreading the laughter by passing it on.
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Re: Bus stop

Post by jeffish » Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:53 am

:lolpoint: :lolpoint: :lolpoint: ,Needed a good chuckle :lol:

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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:58 am

Some bloke at the bus station hit me with a stick for no reason.
Naturally, I retaliated and beat the living poop out of him.


Just for good measure, I kicked his labrador as well.
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Re: Bus stop

Post by NinjaFish » Fri Mar 20, 2020 2:06 pm

Heard the Missus and her mate talking about bed making the other day.

Mate says she does hospital corners. I told her she’d make more if she did pub corners.

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Re: Bus stop

Post by Swoffa » Fri Mar 20, 2020 4:30 pm

Crazy times we are living in...

I used to cough to hide a fart.
Now I fart to hide a cough.
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