* Blogs    * Barrabucks    * The Logo Shop    * Arcade    * Gallery    * Chat    * FAQ    Barramundi Fishing 
  Contact Contact      * Register    * Login  *
   * Register
Barramundi Fishing Pack

Share This Topic On: Share on Facebook FacebookShare on Twitter TwitterShare on Reddit RedditShare on Tumblr TumblrShare on Google+ Google+
 
Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:39 am
Posts: 160
Location: Mackay,Qld
Barrabucks points on hand:
1,610.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:58 pm    Post subject: Mothers

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!!



Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where
the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?

1.We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.



What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more
to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go
to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

_________________
Cheers, bobj.


Top
  Profile  
 
South Pacific island holidays
 
Seadog
Seadog

Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:20 am
Posts: 240
Location: Darwin
Barrabucks points on hand:
1,860.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Mothers

Thanks for the laugh. The diet cracked me up so gonna use that one on the missus :)

_________________


Top
  Profile  
 
 
Jedi Seadog
Jedi Seadog
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:11 pm
Posts: 2244
Images: 6
Location: Humpty Doo NT
Barrabucks points on hand:
20,313.90 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Mothers

Lol, eyes in the back of her head, ha ha

_________________
If there is water and it holds fish, then it is fun trying to fool them into eating what you offer!!

Especially when you can see them!


Top
  Profile  
 
Post new topic  Reply to topic
 Barramundi Fishing Board index » FFF General Forums » Jokes
Top

  # Mothers Previous topic | Next topic # 
 Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts
 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
  Print view

Jump to:  

Welcome Anonymous


Login
Username:

Password:

 Remember me


I forgot my password

Don't have an account yet?
You can register for FREE

Advertisement



Darwin Sun & Moon

Darwin Tides


Northern Fishing Posts
Raymarine A65 Chartplotter Transducer GPS antenna DSM25

Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:48 am

Doubz

After some advice

Mon Jul 23, 2018 9:22 am

feeds

BillFish Classic 2018

Mon Jul 23, 2018 8:15 am

Simmo83

FFF Seadogs 2018 - Round 5 - Tuna and Queenfish + Barra

Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:44 pm

Matt Flynn

FFF Seadogs 2018 - Round 6 - Mackerel + Barra

Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:47 am

Edo

Wanted: plough anchor for 55 ft boat

Sun Jul 22, 2018 7:25 am

shaggs

Working It Out

Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:49 pm

Matt Flynn

Polycraft 5.3 m trailer

Sat Jul 21, 2018 1:48 pm

fridgie

Seven emus station

Sat Jul 21, 2018 8:59 am

trent

Harbour queenies

Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:22 am

Flickin4em

5.7m Trailcraft Profish with 175 Suzuki still under warranty

Fri Jul 20, 2018 8:06 pm

matt w

New cast deck

Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:52 pm

Lats

610 Top Ender cast deck and all tubs

Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:50 pm

Lats

Reels or sale

Fri Jul 20, 2018 6:45 pm

Ruffy

Hitting a wake at speed

Fri Jul 20, 2018 11:56 am

ronje

Fenton patches / stena Clyde. Springs or neaps.

Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:34 am

theodosius

Sunday Terra paper caper

Thu Jul 19, 2018 2:37 pm

Matt Flynn

Driving under Darwin Harbour

Thu Jul 19, 2018 10:33 am

slug

Darwin harbour queenfish bonanza

Thu Jul 19, 2018 10:09 am

slamminsam

Morning flick

Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:26 am

tangels


General Fishing Posts
Show us your biggest COBIA

Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:44 pm

swilmore

Decent jew

Thu Jun 07, 2018 8:45 am

JJLure

Vanuatu birthday bash

Mon May 28, 2018 1:25 pm

grumpy

Bloodwormers want compo

Tue May 01, 2018 11:07 pm

Dick

Goodbye Coorong

Fri Apr 27, 2018 8:29 pm

Matt Flynn

GoFish Nagambie

Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:25 am

barra mick

Cracker bull shark

Thu Mar 29, 2018 11:26 pm

Sullo

Good Flathead Initiative in NSW

Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:41 am

Dinger

Awoonga dam spills over

Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:48 pm

JJLure

A YEAR ON

Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:11 pm

CJ87

Maggot stew with squid

Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:59 am

Matt Flynn

Hazelwood barramundi stocking timeline

Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:25 pm

Matt Flynn

PB Lizard

Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:09 am

Matt Flynn

Tully Gorge

Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:19 am

Jeno

Lake Kununurra set to explode

Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:16 pm

Chriso

Victorian metery

Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:38 pm

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest MACKEREL

Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:31 pm

solo

John Dunphy Artificial Reef

Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:18 pm

NinjaFish

Algal blooms hit Tassie East Coast

Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:54 pm

Matt Flynn

Meanwhile, in Queensland ...

Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:12 pm

Matt Flynn


Recent Non-Fishing Posts
Southern people.....how is this possible????

Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:55 pm

Matt Flynn

America ... F..k Yeh!

Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:27 pm

Matt Flynn

To ponder when fish are quiet

Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:45 am

Matt Flynn

Early NT mangoes

Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:58 pm

Matt Flynn

China joins Collins Class club

Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:22 pm

ronje

Good Aussie economic news

Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:05 pm

AM

bl..dy selfies

Sun Jul 15, 2018 10:39 am

ronje

The dumb country

Wed Jul 11, 2018 9:07 am

Matt Flynn

Trump

Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:44 pm

Matt Flynn

The future

Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:05 am

NinjaFish

Reseal deseal

Thu Jul 05, 2018 11:06 am

Matt Flynn

The Tic Tac UFO incidents

Tue Jul 03, 2018 6:11 pm

Matt Flynn

Massive fail in robbery in Canada

Tue Jul 03, 2018 12:12 pm

jeffish

Let their be light

Mon Jul 02, 2018 5:50 pm

Matt Flynn

Qld's pasture cancer

Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:25 pm

Matt Flynn

Aussie warship plan

Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:17 pm

Matt Flynn

Plastic bag bulldust

Sun Jul 01, 2018 7:32 pm

b-radical

Korean coast

Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:00 am

WhatFish

China will rule world

Tue Jun 26, 2018 1:20 pm

jeffish

Packing in the sardines

Sun Jun 24, 2018 7:50 am

Matt Flynn


Poll

Neaps  14%  [3]
Springs  19%  [4]
Building  61%  [13]
Diminishing  4%  [1]
Total Votes: 21

FFF Newsletters
You can view any of our new FFF Newsletters that you may have missed here:
FFF Newsletters Archive
Subscription Management