Smart dog on safari, a clean joke!!!

Make us laugh or cry out loud with your wicked wit.
Post Reply
SteveB
Jedi Seadog
Jedi Seadog
Posts: 414
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2009 9:06 pm
Location: Brissie
Contact:

Smart dog on safari, a clean joke!!!

Post by SteveB »

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his
faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing
butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering
about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the
obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, "Ok F***, I'm in deep sh!t now." But being a pretty smart dog (he was half dingo) he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Jesus, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
"Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine mutt."
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What the hell am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.
And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that f**king monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"


The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing. ~Babylonian Proverb


Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary. ~Patrick F. McManus
User avatar
olfart
Jedi Seadog
Jedi Seadog
Posts: 1940
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:38 pm
Location: Woodroffe NT

Re: Smart dog on safari, a clean joke!!!

Post by olfart »

Gold !!!
" YOUTH is a GIFT "
"AGE is an ART "
"Doesn't mean you get any smarter..just wrinkled and cracked".

"No angler watches nature in a passive way...He enters into its very existence." (John Bailey...Reflections on a Waters Edge)

"Govern a Family as you would catch a small fish....Very Gently." (Chinese Proverb)

"Only those become weary of angling who bring nothing to it but the idea of catching fish." (Rafael Sabatini...1857-1950)

I pray that one day God sends me a fish so big that, when talking of it...I have no reason to lie.
BarraMick
Jedi Seadog
Jedi Seadog
Posts: 671
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:18 pm

Re: Smart dog on safari, a clean joke!!!

Post by BarraMick »

classic
Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Jokes”