* Blogs    * Barrabucks    * The Logo Shop    * Arcade    * Gallery    * Chat    * FAQ    Barramundi Fishing 
  Contact Contact      * Register    * Login  *
   * Register
FISH FINDER Book

Share This Topic On: Share on Facebook FacebookShare on Twitter TwitterShare on Reddit RedditShare on Tumblr TumblrShare on Google+ Google+
 
Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:39 am
Posts: 156
Location: Mackay,Qld
Barrabucks points on hand:
1,560.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:58 pm    Post subject: Mothers

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!!



Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where
the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?

1.We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.



What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more
to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go
to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

_________________
Cheers, bobj.


Top
  Profile  
 
IO Marine

 
Silver Member
Silver Member

Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:20 am
Posts: 34
Barrabucks points on hand:
390.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Mothers

Thanks for the laugh. The diet cracked me up so gonna use that one on the missus :)


Top
  Profile  
 
Post new topic  Reply to topic
 Barramundi Fishing Board index » FFF General Forums » Jokes
Top

  # Mothers Previous topic | Next topic # 
 Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts
 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
  Print view

Jump to:  

Welcome Anonymous


Login
Username:

Password:

 Remember me


I forgot my password

Don't have an account yet?
You can register for FREE

Advertisement



Darwin Sun & Moon

Darwin Tides


Northern Fishing Posts
Shoal Bay million litres a day prawn waste

Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:33 pm

Matt Flynn

FOR SALE: DAIWA BG 5000 and Veritas Spin 7' (8-15kg)

Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:54 pm

bucky007

We are GROOTE.

Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:35 am

Jerro

FFF Seadogs 2017 - Round 10 - Salmon and Barra

Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:15 am

Daz12

McArthur River bed is burning

Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:00 am

nomad

Have you ever been stung by a box jellyfish?

Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:57 am

nomad

Fish deaths at Buffalo Creek

Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:57 am

nomad

Heavy baitcasting setup

Fri Nov 17, 2017 7:28 pm

Young_gun_fisho

Hyundai generator FS

Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:09 pm

Marro

FFF FotoFish 2017 November Thread

Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:06 pm

Ivan

NLC extends access period

Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:30 pm

Matt Flynn

New Garmin EchoMap Plus

Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:03 pm

Matt Flynn

6.2m Oceanic Plate Aluminium Sports cab 175hp

Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:23 am

theodosius

115 Yamaha

Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:33 pm

Quinntreximon

128cm NT barra

Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:18 pm

NinjaFish

Buzzdog's Flat Top marlin

Thu Nov 16, 2017 5:05 pm

jeffish

Who using flutter jigs...

Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:43 pm

FITZY

Dundee camping

Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:42 pm

Granty

SEA JAY VS RENEGADE INFO NEEDED

Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:48 pm

Jtc79

Sunday Morning Harbour Gold

Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:51 pm

jeffish


General Fishing Posts
Tully Gorge

Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:52 pm

theodosius

PB Lizard

Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:30 pm

Chriso

Vanuatu birthday bash

Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:09 am

fishhunter81

Victorian metery

Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:38 pm

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest COBIA

Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:24 am

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest MACKEREL

Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:31 pm

solo

John Dunphy Artificial Reef

Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:18 pm

NinjaFish

Awoonga dam spills over

Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:42 pm

Edo

Algal blooms hit Tassie East Coast

Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:54 pm

Matt Flynn

Meanwhile, in Queensland ...

Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:12 pm

Matt Flynn

Treating rays badly

Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:38 pm

Matt Flynn

Lake Kununurra set to explode

Sun Oct 08, 2017 12:28 pm

ronje

Walk about fishing trip.

Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:29 am

Seagypsy88

5 tonnes of carp

Mon Sep 25, 2017 12:34 pm

Matt Flynn

Boat ramp car fire

Mon Sep 25, 2017 6:45 am

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest GT

Wed Sep 20, 2017 10:46 am

khai

Show us your biggest Brown or Rainbow TROUT

Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:06 am

nomad

Minister's reasoning remains a mystery

Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:30 am

Matt Flynn

Kinchant barra

Mon Aug 28, 2017 8:38 pm

ronje

Callide barra

Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:26 am

Matt Flynn


Recent Non-Fishing Posts
New member moving to Darwin soon

Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:02 am

theodosius

Rugby League World Cup.

Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:59 am

bobj

Plastic in most remote marine life

Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:37 pm

Matt Flynn

Dodgy loans

Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:45 pm

Matt Flynn

Today's dilemma

Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:23 am

Matt Flynn

How dirty is the internet?

Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:51 am

Matt Flynn

The new soldiers

Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:40 am

Matt Flynn

Get yourself a new dog

Wed Nov 15, 2017 5:32 am

Matt Flynn

The federal mafia

Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:45 pm

NinjaFish

Pollies citizens of another country

Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:07 pm

ronje

Don't exercise ... and eat fat

Wed Nov 08, 2017 7:34 pm

Matt Flynn

Hand held vhf

Mon Nov 06, 2017 7:50 pm

ronje

The Massacre

Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:03 am

mickkk

The Joint Strike Lemon?

Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:35 am

Matt Flynn

Adani - bad business

Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:11 am

Matt Flynn

Non-surgical lap banding

Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:19 am

Matt Flynn

Is FFF trademarked?

Thu Nov 02, 2017 7:34 am

nomad

Trump

Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:38 pm

nomad

Today's weird cloud

Mon Oct 30, 2017 8:00 pm

NinjaFish


Poll

Yes  61%  [22]
No  38%  [14]
Total Votes: 36

FFF Newsletters
You can view any of our new FFF Newsletters that you may have missed here:
FFF Newsletters Archive
Subscription Management