* Blogs    * Barrabucks    * The Logo Shop    * Arcade    * Gallery    * Chat    * FAQ    Barramundi Fishing 
  Contact Contact      * Register    * Login  *
   * Register
Motorguide

Share This Topic On: Share on Facebook FacebookShare on Twitter TwitterShare on Reddit RedditShare on Tumblr TumblrShare on Google+ Google+
 
Platinum Member
Platinum Member

Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:39 am
Posts: 158
Location: Mackay,Qld
Barrabucks points on hand:
1,590.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:58 pm    Post subject: Mothers

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!!



Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where
the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?

1.We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.



What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more
to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go
to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

_________________
Cheers, bobj.


Top
  Profile  
 
South Pacific island holidays
 
Seadog
Seadog

Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:20 am
Posts: 201
Location: Darwin
Barrabucks points on hand:
1,530.00 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Mothers

Thanks for the laugh. The diet cracked me up so gonna use that one on the missus :)

_________________


Top
  Profile  
 
 
Jedi Seadog
Jedi Seadog
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 1:11 pm
Posts: 2237
Images: 6
Location: Humpty Doo NT
Barrabucks points on hand:
20,273.90 Barrabucks
Post Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Mothers

Lol, eyes in the back of her head, ha ha

_________________
If there is water and it holds fish, then it is fun trying to fool them into eating what you offer!!

Especially when you can see them!


Top
  Profile  
 
Post new topic  Reply to topic
 Barramundi Fishing Board index » FFF General Forums » Jokes
Top

  # Mothers Previous topic | Next topic # 
 Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts
 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
  Print view

Jump to:  

Welcome Anonymous


Login
Username:

Password:

 Remember me


I forgot my password

Don't have an account yet?
You can register for FREE

Advertisement



Darwin Sun & Moon

Darwin Tides


Northern Fishing Posts
Why are Barra so difficult to catch?

Thu Apr 26, 2018 6:30 am

ronje

Few beach bazzas

Thu Apr 26, 2018 12:30 am

Eman

A Jewie or Two!!!

Thu Apr 26, 2018 12:23 am

mako

Are red rambo crab numbers increasing?

Wed Apr 25, 2018 11:57 pm

cuddlescooper

Fotofish - April 2018 thread

Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:19 pm

Captain6979

Gone fishing? Need a deckie? I’m your deckie

Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:57 pm

Blakedarwin

FFF Seadogs 2018 - Round 3 - Barramundi and Salmon

Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:47 pm

BarraMick

Min Kota Repairs

Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:29 am

dicko1980

Hilux A-hole

Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:41 pm

Hemi

April heat

Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:12 pm

Matt Flynn

Local Jewies

Tue Apr 24, 2018 10:30 am

Edo

2018 Club Marine Barra Nationals

Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:16 pm

Matt Flynn

Fotofish - May 2018 thread

Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:10 pm

Matt Flynn

FFF Seadogs 2018 - Round 4 - Barramundi and Jewfish

Mon Apr 23, 2018 10:54 pm

Matt Flynn

Load of twaddle

Mon Apr 23, 2018 10:46 pm

Sullo

SWA OPEN. .. plenty of areas still slosed though

Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:41 pm

scottmac

A few from dundee

Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:09 pm

shaggs

Borroloola water polluted with lead

Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:39 pm

Matt Flynn

Dinosaur Minn Kota Free

Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:36 pm

b-radical

How has your barra year been so far?

Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:16 pm

Edo


General Fishing Posts
GoFish Nagambie

Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:25 am

barra mick

Cracker bull shark

Thu Mar 29, 2018 11:26 pm

Sullo

Good Flathead Initiative in NSW

Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:41 am

Dinger

Awoonga dam spills over

Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:48 pm

JJLure

Vanuatu birthday bash

Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:08 pm

Andy Grey

A YEAR ON

Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:11 pm

CJ87

Maggot stew with squid

Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:59 am

Matt Flynn

Hazelwood barramundi stocking timeline

Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:25 pm

Matt Flynn

PB Lizard

Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:09 am

Matt Flynn

Tully Gorge

Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:19 am

Jeno

Lake Kununurra set to explode

Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:16 pm

Chriso

Victorian metery

Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:38 pm

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest COBIA

Sat Nov 11, 2017 8:24 am

Matt Flynn

Show us your biggest MACKEREL

Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:31 pm

solo

John Dunphy Artificial Reef

Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:18 pm

NinjaFish

Algal blooms hit Tassie East Coast

Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:54 pm

Matt Flynn

Meanwhile, in Queensland ...

Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:12 pm

Matt Flynn

Treating rays badly

Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:38 pm

Matt Flynn

Walk about fishing trip.

Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:29 am

Seagypsy88

5 tonnes of carp

Mon Sep 25, 2017 12:34 pm

Matt Flynn


Recent Non-Fishing Posts
74pc don't want it

Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:18 pm

Matt Flynn

12,000 plastic pieces per litre

Wed Apr 25, 2018 12:14 pm

Matt Flynn

ANZAC Day

Tue Apr 24, 2018 8:45 pm

Matt Flynn

NT Treasurer's bold move

Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:33 am

Matt Flynn

China will rule world

Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:31 pm

Matt Flynn

When a country goes bad

Thu Apr 19, 2018 2:17 pm

Matt Flynn

Facebook

Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:25 am

Matt Flynn

Know-it-all fishos

Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:12 pm

theodosius

$7 vegemite on toast

Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:42 pm

Matt Flynn

Trump

Wed Apr 18, 2018 10:01 am

Acsle

Best beer snacks?

Sun Apr 15, 2018 1:04 am

Flickin4em

Some underwater pix

Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:36 pm

dannett

Roast chooks up $1

Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:55 pm

goldfish

Any idea what this is for ?

Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:00 pm

ronje

The one percenters

Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:22 pm

dannett

Reasons to be Cheerful Part 3

Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:29 pm

jeffish

Barra love songs

Fri Apr 06, 2018 2:09 am

Flickin4em

The manure man

Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:12 pm

jeffish

Propping up prices with migration

Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:42 pm

Matt Flynn

International Helmet Week

Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:54 pm

Matt Flynn


Poll

Better than expected  20%  [6]
About what I expected  48%  [14]
Worse than expected  31%  [9]
Total Votes: 29

FFF Newsletters
You can view any of our new FFF Newsletters that you may have missed here:
FFF Newsletters Archive
Subscription Management