More short bad jokes
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- Jedi Seadog
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Re: More short bad jokes
while we are doing the grade 6 jokes
What is 100 m long and shivers at the bottom of the ocean?
........a nervous wreck
How do you weight a whale?
take it to a whaleway station
What is 100 m long and shivers at the bottom of the ocean?
........a nervous wreck
How do you weight a whale?
take it to a whaleway station
- sarrge
- Jedi Seadog
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Re: More short bad jokes
My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered.
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
I turned around and replied "What?, So now you want me to stay?"
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
I turned around and replied "What?, So now you want me to stay?"
I used to have a handle on life.......then it broke.
- Mclaren
- Platinum Member
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Re: More short bad jokes
And they ain't gettin any better -
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses.
He said no, but he had once told a donkey to f#ck off.
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses.
He said no, but he had once told a donkey to f#ck off.
- Lumborghini
- Seadog
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- Location: Darwin,
Re: More short bad jokes
Sad Sad news, Chuck Norris was found dead yesterday in his hollywood Mansion...
But he is OK now.
But he is OK now.
Lumbo,
If i'm too drunk to walk I'll rock the party on crutches...
If i'm too drunk to walk I'll rock the party on crutches...
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- Seadog
- Posts: 253
- Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 4:12 pm
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Re: More short bad jokes
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!
What's stucco?
What happens when you step in bubblegummo.
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!
What's stucco?
What happens when you step in bubblegummo.
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” - Steven Wright
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
- sarrge
- Jedi Seadog
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- Location: Millner
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Re: More short bad jokes
Or better still, for swine flu, just call the hambulanceKp NT wrote:What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
I used to have a handle on life.......then it broke.
- Swoffa
- Jedi Seadog
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Re: More short bad jokes
Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer........
The taste
The taste
What angler can cross over a bridge without peering over its side
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- Jedi Seadog
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Re: More short bad jokes
A horse walked into a bar. the barman said "why such a long face"?
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- Seadog
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- Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 4:12 pm
- Location: Gove
Re: More short bad jokes
A horse went to the vets with a throat infection, the vet said oh you do seem a bit hoarse.........
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” - Steven Wright
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
- sarrge
- Jedi Seadog
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- Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 5:23 pm
- Location: Millner
- Contact:
Re: More short bad jokes
The Collingwood cheer squad has just returned from a trip to an orphanage in Zimbabwe.
“It was a great chance to meet such underprivileged people with very little hope in life”, said Alfred Mgombo, aged 6.
“It was a great chance to meet such underprivileged people with very little hope in life”, said Alfred Mgombo, aged 6.
I used to have a handle on life.......then it broke.
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- New Member
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:10 pm
Re: More short bad jokes
Why did the scarecrow get a medal?...
Because he was outstanding in his field..
Because he was outstanding in his field..
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- Jedi Seadog
- Posts: 1692
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:13 am
- Location: HUMPTY DOO
Re: More short bad jokes
What part of Popeye never goes rusty?
The part he dips in olive oil
The part he dips in olive oil
The past is history,the future is mystery,the moment is a gift and that's why it's called the present
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- Jedi Seadog
- Posts: 1692
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:13 am
- Location: HUMPTY DOO
Re: More short bad jokes
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whore?
A two ton pick up that will do it for peanuts and remember you forever
A two ton pick up that will do it for peanuts and remember you forever
The past is history,the future is mystery,the moment is a gift and that's why it's called the present
- sarrge
- Jedi Seadog
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- Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 5:23 pm
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Re: More short bad jokes
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary.
It means 75% are running around untreated.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary.
It means 75% are running around untreated.
I used to have a handle on life.......then it broke.
-
- Seadog
- Posts: 253
- Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 4:12 pm
- Location: Gove
Re: More short bad jokes
Boy: Do you like parties?
Girl: Yes, why?
Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!
-------------------—
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bl..dy low down"
----------------------
I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?
-----------------------
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
------------------------
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
Girl: Yes, why?
Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!
-------------------—
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bl..dy low down"
----------------------
I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?
-----------------------
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
------------------------
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” - Steven Wright
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset."
Maurice Strong
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