Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:12 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:27 pm Post subject: Re: More short bad jokes
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
_________________ I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” - Steven Wright
"If you want to maintain a sustainable supply of fish you have to farm the fish, rather than mine them. So putting your money into fishing fleets that are going to exacerbate the problem by over-fishing is not the way to preserve the underlying asset." Maurice Strong
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:51 pm
Location: Adelaide SA
Barrabucks points on hand:
Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:52 pm Post subject: Re: More short bad jokes
"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.
His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."
She said, "Pardon?"
He said, "I said I love you."
She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."
She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"
He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."
Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:39 am Post subject: Re: More short bad jokes
Ok just following the thread title:
A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman imediately goes to her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and proceeds to explain why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with your co-worker complimenting on how your hair smells?" The woman replies."Because it's Mitch, the midget"
Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:46 am Post subject: Re: More short bad jokes
A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's being watched by a midget.
Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the guy doesn't get uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.
"Wow," comments the midget, "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"
Surprised-and flattered-the man thanks the midget and starts to move away.
"Listen, I know this is a rather strange request," says the little fellow, "but I wonder if you would mind if I touched them."
Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he obliges the request.
The midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says loudly, "Okay, hand over your wallet or I'll jump!"
Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:47 am Post subject: Re: More short bad jokes
Ok last one, before i am banned.
I was driving down a street the other day, not paying much attention, when I accidental dinged anouther car which had stopped at the traffic lights. The driver came out, and he was a dwarf and peeved. He then proceeded to walk up to my car, fuming. He then stared at me and declared "I'm not happy!" Surprised, I raised my eyebrow and asked in retaliation "Then which one are you?"
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